Good Longhorn News

Dating in high school can be very awkward, but you know what’s more awkward? Talking stages. Most high school relationships start with a talking stage and end in two months. They are a waste of time, awkward and over all, they doom relationships.

Talking stages are supposed to be a getting to know each other phase, but isn’t that what dating is for? The definition of dating is literally “two people spending time together for romantic or social reasons to see if they are compatible.” The reason people date is to get to know each other, so why have an entirely different period to see if you like the person? If you start dating someone and you realize you aren’t compatible, break up.

Many people use the excuse that they were “just talking” to snap and date other people. Talking stages are just an excuse to avoid commitment and are often used as a buffer. It allows people to keep emotional distance and avoid the commitment and vulnerability that comes with a committed relationship. Keeping relationships surface level while having a “roster” can lead to pain from both parties. Imagine if you found out the person you were talking to and wanted a relationship with was talking to five other people, how would you feel?

If you are in a talking stage for more than a month, your relationship is doomed to fail. This is because during a talking stage there is a constant stress to impress the other person. When you are trying to impress and get someone to like you, many people develop an inauthentic persona. Once you get to the actual relationship, real personalities and feelings start to show. If you suddenly realize that you don’t like your partner’s personality, it is not going to end well. If you go from friends and straight to dating, there are no unrealistic expectations.

Some might say that talking stages are beneficial because it allows two people to gauge compatibility, but that’s why you date someone. The dating period is the time to figure out if you have the same values and if you belong together. Marriage is the real commitment where you should already know all of this. Therefore, talking stages are a waste of time.

Next time the person you are interested in says they want to have a talking stage before they date, run. They are most likely avoiding a serious relationship and have commitment issues.